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Episode 21: Calin Saft: Secure Attachment

Today’s episode is dedicated to all the fathers listening, as I am going to talk about the key ingredient in building a great relationship with your children, and that is a secure attachment.

“Attachment is an inborn system of the brain that evolved to keep the child safe. It enables the child to (1) seek proximity to the parent; (2) go to the parent at times of distress for comforting as a source of a safe haven; and (3) internalize the relationship with the parent as an internal model of a secure base. This sense of security is built upon repeated experiences of being contingently connected with the attachment figure. The impact of these experiences is to provide children with an internal sense of well-being that enables them to go out into the world to explore and make new connections with others.” – Daniel Siegel & Marry Hartzell, Parenting from Inside Out


“Inside Out exercises” (extracts from Parenting from Inside Out):

How do you respond when your children want to be close to you?

What about when they are upset and need comforting?

Do you think that they are internalizing their relationship with you as a secure base?

What might you do to improve your relationship with your children to enhance their security of attachment to you?


Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:

Dr. Dan Siegel

Parenting from Inside Out, Daniel Siegel, Marry Hartzell

Dr. Siegel talks about avoidant attachment

Dr. Siegel talks about ambivalent attachment

Dr. Siegel talks about secure attachment


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