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Episode 27: Calin Saft: Becoming Self-Assertive, Independent, and Full of Life Force

Today’s talk will be the first in a series of episodes in which I want to share with you the most common problems and difficulties that guys that I work with are facing and how to get past these challenges.

Challenge no. 1: Becoming Self-Assertive, Independent, and Full of Life Force


You abdicated responsibility for your own life to others, letting your family and friends make all the decisions for you. You feel like circumstances in your life always conspire to force you into decisive action made after little or no consultation.

When presented with a decision, you may analyze the various perspectives until you are literally sick of yourself. Exhausted from your own paralysis, you will finally resort to bold action and tap into your primal, masculine energy.

You hesitate to take on leadership roles you know you should pursue because you are afraid that you are not enough and do not feel ready to put yourself in central positions because they might expose your vulnerabilities. The truth is I do not know if you are enough or not. I do not know if you are ready or not.

But you know what? I think it doesn’t really matter because no one is truly ready to take on a leadership role, or start a business, or allow change into their life.

I believe that you need to put yourself out there and learn. And fail. And learn to pick yourself up.

You are probably too rationale in your approach. Using your head may land you an appropriate mate, a prestigious position, and the birth of children at convenient times, but it also leads to a life without love and passion, which isn’t much of a life at all.

You are most likely the smartest guy in the room. Being capable of deep thought, you approach the world through your mind. So do I.

I believe it is time for you and me to change this approach. What if you are not here on this planet to think and play it safe but to act and to exert your personal force onto the world around you?

Leadership roles are the best thing for you. Especially in the work arena, you should take charge whenever the opportunity presents itself.

You may be afraid of being alone, are overly concerned about your appearance, indecisive or even a doormat. To activate your masculine energy, try something new.

Any outdoor activity is likely to be beneficial as are contact sports such as boxing, karate, football and hockey.

Traveling by yourself is also good for you.

Start expressing yourself: consider taking on artistic endeavors of all kinds, editing, publicity, and sports.

Until you start working on yourself with a life-coach, therapist or trusted mentor, you may not know who you are except in reference to others. If you are unconscious, you will tend to think that what others want is what you want and will try to make yourself happy by doing what others are doing or what others are expecting of you.

All right guys, these are the thoughts that I wanted to share with you today. If you like this episode, please share it with a friend, subscribe on iTunes and leave a helpful review.

And remember that his summer, I promised to support 100 men that are recovering from a painful breakup or divorce, for free. If this is you, reach out to me at

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